Firepower: Personal Impact
Firepower: Personal Impact
by Phil Connor
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I recently watched a video of a former high school classmate at a speaking engagement. His speech was partially about how he successfully built a multi-billion dollar company. It’s an impressive story of drive, perseverance, and personal impact. Throughout the speech, his passion for his business clearly comes across, and his perseverance during difficult times is also evident. But the more subtle strength he has developed is his personal impact. Sometimes this trait is referred to as charisma, but I think it’s more. Personal impact is the influence you have on other people—how you make them feel, how you communicate what’s important, and whether people like you.
Given that, how can we foster and develop our own personal impact? Let’s answer that question by exploring a few different paths.
Takeoffs and Landings
In aviation, the most important (and dangerous) segments of flights are takeoffs and landings. For both, many variables are quickly coming together at the same time, and a pilot must be fully present to ensure success. Every flight starts with a takeoff and ends with a landing, yet many pilots lack the fundamentals to smoothly complete these maneuvers consistently—either because they weren’t properly taught, or they haven’t practiced enough to be proficient. A passenger can have a very smooth and uneventful flight but consider the whole thing unsafe if it ends with a violent landing.
Just as the most important parts of a flight are the takeoff and landing, I would argue that the most important parts of a conversation are the opening and closing. The most impactful speakers are people who immediately pay attention to others and make people feel heard.
The most impactful speakers are people who immediately pay attention to others and make people feel heard.
These speakers let others know they are appreciated as the conversation ends. Too often, we are self-absorbed with what we want to talk about, so we don’t listen to the people around us when they’re speaking. Let’s commit to being more aware when we’re in a conversation so that we can remember people’s eye color, the patterns on their shirts, or the ways they part their hair. By being more aware and paying attention to others, we can ensure that our conversations have smooth beginnings and endings; and by practicing our takeoffs and landings when we communicate with others, we can make sure our conversations really count.
Vulnerability, Vision, and Values
We all like to surround ourselves with strong leaders and confident people. However, what we most admire about those same leaders and people is their ability to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is not the same as being weak or feeble. It’s allowing others to see our most authentic and flawed selves. For example, when asked by CNN’s Jake Tapper how he’d like to be remembered, the late Senator John McCain said, “Served his country and not always right. Made a lot of mistakes. Made a lot of errors, but served his country. And I hope we could add honorably.” Senator McCain was beloved by many because he did not try to appear perfect or flawless. He laughed at his errors and was always trying to improve.
We also appreciate leaders more when we understand their visions, even if we don’t always agree with them. Having a conviction of the heart—that is, having a clear vision and then creating a plan to make it a reality—is what many people are drawn toward. As such, we don’t necessarily need to dream mammoth dreams. Instead, we just need to know where we want to go and consistently be developing the skills we need to get there. That consistency will attract like-minded people to us like moths to a flame.
Having a conviction of the heart—that is, having a clear vision and then creating a plan to make it a reality—is what many people are drawn toward.
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Empathy
This is an area I have often struggled with. Many goal oriented people do. The answer was revealed to me a few years ago by a wise woman that was helping me improve my relationship with my wife. She pointed out that when people are connection-oriented, they often achieve their goals faster and more effectively. I candidly resisted the notion at first. It seems counterintuitive, or at least it did for me at the time. How can my removing my attention toward my goals and focusing on connecting with people increase my success?
Over time, I found out that it’s about removing the obsession with goals and focusing on getting to know, understand, and like people. When we do this, we demonstrate empathy and caring towards others. When other people perceive that we care about them, they’re more inclined to help us succeed. When we connect, we thrive and attain our goals more easily—and we do it together with others.
When we connect, we thrive and attain our goals more easily—and we do it together with others.
In the end, we all want to improve our impact on others. We also want that impact to be a positive one for everyone involved. So this month, let’s focus on how we start and end conversations with those around us and note the influence we start to have. Let’s also think about who we are as people and what we cherish most by understanding our own true north. When we do this, we’ll be easier to understand and increase the likelihood that those around us will follow our lead. Have a prosperous month ahead and let me know what type of personal impact you’re having. Thanks for reading.
Phil Connor
If you found Phil's column impactful, or if you'd like to have him speak at an upcoming event, contact him at phil.connor@live.com. He's always working with his team at Ignition Laboratories to find new ways to spread the fire.
